Erm you are already using Evolution aren't you for your phone ?
I don't actually use the notifications myself as I tend to work my life off task lists rather than calendar events, but as far as I can recall it should tick most of your boxes.
It should be integrated with the gnome calendar applet so even if Evolution isn't running you can check appointments in the desktop calendar and alarm notifications etc should still work. It all talks through some calDAV magic I think, so some evolution type things are running but not the full app.