The lart stick itself (sometimes referred to as >clue by four) is a large stick sometimes with nails >stuck in it.
You wouldn't believe just how appropriate this thread has been! Yesterday I was told to "go for a walk" by the river (Wensum) to calm down, as I had turned into the BOFH (Bastard Operator from Hell) due to levels of extreme stupidity & incompetence. Never being one to respect authority, I managed to castigate a senior manager (so senior I am merely an ant in her view) in the most unbelievably sarcastic manner and still get an apology. (heh heh)
Usually I never use a lart stick, I tend to use the "Tough Shit, then." or 'Baffle with BS' approach; similar to car mechanics...
"tsk... no, tsk tsk... I think it's a case of SNAFU. hmm... I think your MTU is set too high causing fragmentation in the PMRC... Possibly some EMG corruption of the attenuated signal- do you wear a watch?.. no, that's not it.. that'll never work again, nothing I can do..." hee hee! >;-)
Another favourite is to make the w*nking sign with my hand whilst speaking to them, or that classic- for the user who not only does not listen, but also doesn't stop talking - of putting the phone on your mouse mat and going to make a cup of tea! Luckily, my boss is an even greater BOFH!
Good points- a network admin armed with a lart stick can knock £800 off a Dell server -over the phone!(still £5k's worth, though). It's a REALLY good time to buy servers, btw, they're absoloutely desparate to sell 'em.
Ricardo (moved thread to soc cos it's a bit OT)
PS. It doesn't happen often, I'm really quite patient with people who have no clue how to use M$ Word, or NT, politeness, or their minds. ;-D